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Adult videos

Maybe I’m just oblivious, but I didn’t start clearing browser history until my first year of college.


To my surprise, my mom came home one day with a brand new Dell laptop. She thought that since I was almost to middle school, a new computer would be good for me and my studies. King dork here studied as much as she chatted on the computer, so a second one was beneficial for both of us.


I got home from school on a Wednesday afternoon and asked her to borrow the new laptop. Mrs. B, my 5th grade teacher, assigned each of us an international country in South America to study. I got Costa Rica. It was so colorful, and I was ready to learn more. Come to find out: adult videos were much more of a fantasy I wanted to study.


I got up to my room and sat on my bed. Costa Rica can wait. I went straight to my favorite adult video website instead and began clicking. After a few minutes, I was engrossed in whatever these people were doing to each other (yes, my pants were on). I didn’t really understand what my eyes were witnessing, but my real life boy crush wasn’t into me and the digital distraction helped.


Right about when a moan came out of the mini Dell speaker, my mom knocked on my bedroom door and proceeded to open it slowly. Why my pen was on the keyboard, I don’t know. But I slammed the laptop shut as fast as I could before she could see anything. The pen was now lodged between the keyboard and the screen, and the crunching sound I heard confirmed my suspicion. I just cracked the new laptop. Crap.


Thankfully, my mom didn’t stay in my room long that afternoon to talk. A few days later though, she asked me about the small crack in the center of the screen. I lied to her, as kids do sometimes, and said that I didn’t know what happened. Clearly, I was hiding the truth because I was the last person to use it. I immediately felt guilty and ashamed. I thought I just ruined her new computer.


I spilled the truth a few days later. Of course, I left out the part about watching adult videos. All I told her was that I left my pen on my keyboard and closed it shut accidentally. White lies suck, even when you leave out the whole story. All she had to do was check the browser history because she failed to tell me that the laptop still worked just fine.


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