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Billy Bob

If you can’t say something in the moment, then why say it all?


In an ideal world, yeah. I’d like to be able to say exactly what I’m thinking. But for me logic has always trailed emotion.


It’s like my left brain was that kid in a grocery store with powdered donuts in his hands and sugar all over his lips. My right brain was the star athlete already at the checkout line. Good luck catching up Billy Bob.


If you can’t say something in the moment, then why say it all?


I really wish I could tell you who said this. I really wish I could tell you when I heard this. But what I can tell you is that it’s haunted me for many of my adult years...


I blame Starbucks. Not entirely. But the company did do a number on my brain when I wasn’t paying attention.


Now don’t get me wrong. I love the company. I loved working there. I met some of the kindest baristas hyped up on way too many shots of espresso.


But it’s mostly my fault.


If you can’t say something in the moment, then why say it all?


For two separate periods of my life, that Green Monster kept me very busy. Never stop. Keep going. Like a robot.


I welcomed her with open arms. I threw myself at my work because my personal life was a mess.


I learned how to engage conversation with a customer on a rainy Tuesday while pouring her 1 ⅓ shots of decaf espresso into her tall drink, but in a grande cup, with extra whip while simultaneously sweeping the floor before I coordinated my efforts with my fellow partner next to me who used the other ½ of the shots and my left arm in his own equally as complex drink and routine.


That was my brain for years. I was everywhere and nowhere. I somehow unintentionally trained myself to act like I was always working. Very busy. Never stop. Keep going.


If you can’t say something in the moment, then why say it all?


I once timed myself making breakfast to see how fast I could multitask and get it all done. 11:52. I was so excited, I'm pretty sure I posted it on social media.


And that’s when I knew. I was the kid with the powdered donuts.


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