Search
  • The dude

The Three Stooges

Let me be real with you. I’ve thrown myself at many guys over my lifetime.


Whoops.


But they each gave me something valuable that I applied to my life. As my former teacher mentor once told me: “The best teachers steal from other teachers.” His words. Not mine.


What he really meant to say- and how I used it outside of the classroom- was that borrowing ideas and making them better wasn’t so bad. Why reinvent the wheel when the wheel's already been invented?


So I present to you the three stooges: Moe, Larry, Curly. Or the three little pigs. Or. . . I’ll stop. I don’t need them to hate me anymore than they already do.


Moe was the first person I dated when I moved to Chicago. Within weeks, I clung to him like a lost puppy and didn’t let go.


But as my manager, we eventually had to have “that talk.” You know, the one about separating professional from personal. He led that conversation.


I led a conversation about feelings. He looked at me straight in the eyes and said, “What do you want me to do about it?” And that’s when I understood there are two very, very different ways to look at something.


Larry won me over with a note on a napkin at a bar. What I thought only existed in movies actually happened to me.


Fast forward to when we nearly bought a house together. I sucked on my sticky fingers so hard one night, he said, “You know, normal people use a knife and a fork.” His words. Not mine.


A fork and fingers. That’s all I thought I ever needed. But it was out with finger scooping and in with proper utensils.


Curly was 9 years younger than me. At first, the age difference was super appealing. He had a whole lot of spunk that kept me younger.


He also had a whole lot of need to do something. Everyday. Anything. Our struggle was real.


But what's better than a Friday night, or a Tuesday night, and Law & Order SVU? I might be an old man at heart. But I "borrowed" from him that it’s okay to have a little fun.


Look, I get it now. Throwing myself at people is bad. Real bad. I’ve been an expert at that for far too long.


Applying the lessons I've learned? That's good. So Moe, Larry, Curly, I know you hate me. But thank you. I wouldn’t be me without you.


21 views

Recent Posts

See All

Ghosting

For the sake of anonymity, let’s call him Paul. Paul was my manager at Starbucks when I first moved to Chicahhhhgo. I went to work. Talked to customers. Drank way too many white mochas. Everything